For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
