Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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