What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
