Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
