Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This baby is an asshole
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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