How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
