I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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