CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
