would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
