i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
