Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The feeling are messing with the penis
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
