UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
