i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
