it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
