yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
