Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Randomize
