You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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