I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
