If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
