Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
