Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We talked him into tasing himself.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
