There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
