CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
