It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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