my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
