doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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