The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
