Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
