it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
