If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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