id be glad to
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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