Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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