I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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