My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Randomize
