I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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