tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
