could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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