k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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