I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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