You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
