If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
