His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
