I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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