my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
