At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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