I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
It was confusing and full of hummus
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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