your parents love me but you hate me
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
