my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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