look no pants
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
