5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
