Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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