butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
