remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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