i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Shame is for Republicans.
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